The emotions trapped in a word
Do you recall the day of the “Green Cross Code”. I don’t even know if it is still taught in schools.
If not, then perhaps we can call for it to be reintroduced, but not just for the safety of our children navigating the roads, but for the safety of our children navigating this world we appear to be creating.
In case you don’t recall the full code, it is:
Look and listen
Look and listen again
So here’s some reasoning, using one word that we have all experienced and no doubt used; “fault”.
When that word is spoken or perhaps worse, thought, how often is it associated with all the emotions that come with the word ‘blame’ and potentially much more?
Take this picture. The child is listening to an argument. How often is an argument started because of ‘blame’? Now consider what the two people directly entangled (not involved) are experiencing. All those emotions are ultimately being triggered because of the words ‘fault’ and ‘blame’.
Now consider the child listening in and the various thoughts he could be experiencing, one of which is “This is all my fault!” And worse, he has no escape!!! He can’t go and talk to his parents and his sister is no longer in the house to talk to. Why that may be the case, is another story.
Years pass, and that boy is now married with his own children. He gets a text message from one; his son, who happens to be on holiday with his aunt and uncle. He had gone out last night for a meal with his aunt, who had selected the restaurant to visit. His text explained that he and his Uncle had unfortunately got food poisoning.
The father was just about to text his son, what he was thinking, which was “Your Aunt shouldn’t think it was her fault”.
‘Looked’ and listened
‘Looked’ and listened again
and then arrived at a conclusion. I wonder what you think that conclusion was?
If you are interested to learn more about how your emotions and values communicate please have a go at our SmartTracker.